The Promise of the Rainbow

Hope….

dawnfanshawe

Even in the stumbling of night
His stars twinkle mysterious light
Sparks of the unknown, infinite
And eternal hope.

Daybreak heralds a fresh glory
Erasing dreams and strife;
The dawn of a new story
Illuminating mercy and life.

New days radiate hope for us –
Warmth, promise and growth –
Visible and glorious,
Powerful – but delicate – both.

Our star is not quenched by the rain;
The waters don’t labour in vain,
But soften the earth, relieving the pain –
Causing life to rise from the ashes again.

As they cleanse and germinate seed,
That the diligent purposed to grow,
A multitude then he can feed –
With grateful hope indeed;

And a light through the rain he will show –
Is the promise of the rainbow.

View original post

Giving Birth to Sobriety

and it just gets better and better…

dawnfanshawe

Giving Birth to Sobriety

My life is so varied and rich
But…
There’s always a but/ a glitch.
Like I’m looking for something I had,
That in itself wasn’t bad,
But it was not what I needed and when I conceded
That in fact it was keeping me sad,
I looked for a new way
A way of recovery…

When I drank I thought drink was my friend –
Daily I brought “work” to an end –
I opened the bottle , turned down my brain
Played music, lit candles
And danced in the rain;
I’d cook and have friends round
Would chatter and play –
Felt duly rewarded, every day.
Thinking and doing seemed to be done
And now I considered it time to have fun.
Having the sense of completing my duty,
Then I allowed me to enjoy all the beauty –
The senses, emotions, creative and free…

View original post 370 more words

Elusive Excitement of Newness

anybody relate?

dawnfanshawe

The new toy, bike or friend as a kid,
The new job, car or painting that I did;
The brand new dress with matching shoes
The latest sensation to hit the news;
A husband or wife – vowing never to part
Salvation, new life – we give all our heart…

We reach our goal, a dream fulfilled
The yearning of our heart is stilled
With treasured pearl and joy we shine
Full of promise now it’s mine

Initial vigilance, adoring and keen
We want our treasure by all to be seen;
We display, protect, polish and gaze
And use every moment to offer our praise.

But often having thus acquired
The prize we had so long desired
We imperceptibly grow tired,
And the thing which once was pride of place
Unguarded hearts may swift erase –
While something new attracts our gaze…

For what is it now we long and…

View original post 128 more words

Discombobulation (or The Gradual Healing of a Damaged Soul)

dawnfanshawe

A poetic prose from 2012

“If you ask you don’t get, if you don’t ask you don’t want;
it’s not yours, you can’t have it, didn’t earn, don’t deserve;
if it’s fun it is bad for you, how dare you enjoy?
You’re not here to be happy, you’re here to endure.
You do as you’re told, not what you want; and who are you anyway? I know who you’re not!
I know what you’re like and I’ll tell you again – you’re selfish and greedy and just like your mother; you’re lazy, a day-dreamer, real good-for-nothing!
I’ll thrash you and give you something to cry about – if you don’t stop crying now!”

The pleasure in pain and the pain in the pleasure – isn’t much fun, but is real to me!
Voices and choices – We are what we eat? That is what she says –
The powerful diet…

View original post 673 more words

Emotional Roller Coaster

an old one… I’m glad to say I have choices now… Praise God!

dawnfanshawe

Climbing, soaring, awesome
falling…
The excitement is breathtaking as the ride just begins;
the path I steadily climb,
higher and higher, the air getting thin,
exhilarating rushes of wind;
Reaching a peak it rests for a while…
the views from up here, I inhale –
the beauty, creation, the planets and stars
from this awesome height I rejoice…

With joy and with awe I would stay here forever
a sigh as my head tumbles back…
but this is the ride where high turns to low…
and this will not last,
back down I will go,
with a scream and a tear
and a moment of fear;
I will land with a thump back below!
The body has landed but the rest is still up there,
sick with no stomach and empty inside;
and now it all seems, back down on the ground,
this ache is reality and that was a…

View original post 136 more words

Keep on keeping on!

dawnfanshawe

Universal in movement, spinning, expansion…
The process is life.
Flux, actively changing, reaching out…
Collisions of reckoning, of refinement
A refiner’s fire, purifying; then a cooling –
A rest to become and re-become in new, grace-gilded birth.

Sustenance to grow and nourish,
Rest to assimilate and refresh,
Maintenance to flourish –
Cleaning, clearing, dusting down, shaking off, with
Joy to strengthen, energise and empower the dance.
Keep on keeping on…

Beware the universal danger in complacency –
Stagnation and decay in denial.
Keep on keeping on…

Seasons and cycles of movement –
Infinite and eternal macro and micro mysteries
In an awesome, joyous waltz –
Spinning, ever-changing, regenerating and recreating
Engaging body, mind, soul and spirit – pressing in,
Pressing on –
Actively seeking and finding,
Asking, seeking and discovering Truth;
Learning –
Learning to let go, to find courage;
Never striving, Ever trusting the universal Creator.

Planting, nourishing, wait…

View original post 63 more words

AA Season Of Pain.

Over 5 blessed years ago already!!

dawnfanshawe

Physical pain of bitter, constant cold, hunger,

slaps, canes and beatings

Fear, terror of these – fear of annihilation, fear of pain.

Fear of death, knives and guns

Unpredictable, threatening,
lurking

– a Russian roulette..

 

Fear of emotional pain, emotional torture
Cos it’s all my fault.
I am bad, wrong, a burden
I owe them,
I must repay and make it better
But I cannot –
I’m not good enough, big enough, strong enough or clever enough.

Lonely, empty, lost and afraid,
wandering, day-dreaming, alone.
Looking for comfort, for friendship, for warmth, safety, acceptance…
I need to escape, to hide, to somehow survive and get away –
but where to?

I focus on the beauty around me
Beauty of amazing, glorious mystery
Creation – so delicate, vulnerable, persistent and powerful –
A gift into my emptiness.

I love the world and all of creation.
I want to love and…

View original post 477 more words

Flea Circus

round 2 This one’s funny. Look out for it on audio

dawnfanshawe

They were having fun…

The last 5 weeks have been such an ordeal
An unusual problem of fleas
Persistent and tiny, they drove me insane
And nibbled my legs to the knees

I began with the cat, whose treatment was swift
The spot-on worked well and was fast
But the fleas they migrated to carpets and chairs
Though I thought they surely won’t last.

In bare legs and shorts, with murderous thoughts,
For a many long hours every day,
I vacuumed the carpets, the beds and the chairs
And finished it off with the spray.

I used bicarb and salt, smoke bombs and sprays
And all I achieved was a stink
As they hopped on my ankles, I captured each flea
But they wouldn’t even drown in the sink.

Obsessive I tip-toed, eager to pounce
On every new speck in my home
I spent hundreds on potions, used bottles of…

View original post 159 more words