Life update

The theme I keep returning to for this week’s blog is to give you all an update on my life – or more accurately – on the progress of one of my current projects. Part of the healing work going on in me, is to recognise that, just as I am very interested in the actual lives behind all you wonderful bloggers and readers of mine, so also might you be interested not just in the random thoughts I scribble down from week to week, but you may also like to know something about me. If I am wrong, you can ignore this blog.

Since January of this year, 2021, I have been writing a book about the strategies and processing tools I found helpful in the task of finding the voice of my wounded inner child. The first section of the book explains why and how I did it and the impact it had. The second section contains excerpts from the writing during the main strategies I used to hear the silent inner child. I called my wounded inner child Suzie. The strategies I used have given Suzie a voice to express her long-buried trauma and her dreams, disappointments and emotions. It has not been an easy journey, but it has been necessary and hugely transformative. My dream was to share those strategies and processing tools to help others to deal with trauma, with hidden issues, and to come to a place of acceptance. Having heard my hidden child’s voice, I have been able to bring her pain and fear to the Lord, for healing. Confessing one’s emotions, one’s story to oneself is powerful! Confessing it to another safe person and receiving acceptance and validation – being really heard – is powerful and healing. Pouring out one’s heart and confessing to God, is powerful, transformative and brings wholeness. It is still transformative for me – it is a journey I am still on and there is more work to do. It is a healing of relationship – me with Suzie, with memories, as well as me with God and with others.

Section Two contains some of Suzie’s story, but Section One explains the why and how of it. This first section I have written, rewritten and rewritten again. I have written it in my own level of understanding of what the process has meant to me. Now I am holding my breath as it is being read by four people. One is a very close friend who is a psychotherapist and who will be writing a Foreword for my book, to explain my processing in the language of a therapist. My youngest son is reading it, with a view to illustrating some aspects of the story. Two friends are also reading it to provide me with some more general feedback, before I do the final edit and look for a publisher.

This is little me, an image of the hidden Suzie.

Obviously I am continually consulting God about these next steps towards publishing, as the whole process and all of it belongs to Him. He asks us to comfort and bless others with the comfort and blessing we receive from Him. This is the aim of the book – to share the great blessings and healing I have received. He is the Author and finisher of my faith; He is my healer; He is my wisdom and understanding; He knew me when I was hidden, mute and hurting and He was with me. He knows every thought before I do and He knows when I lie down and when I rise… and do you know, He cares! He knows my story, my thoughts and my deeds, and He still loves me and cares for me, as His own precious daughter.

You are the other child He knows and loves so deeply.

Jubilation for July

“Carry each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

This scripture has spoken to me for a while now and is quite sufficient for direction when I am looking for answers and guidance. Carrying one another’s burdens is very practical and you will know what you can and cannot do, but we can always carry each others burdens to the Lord. Cast all your care upon me, He says.

The burdens and cares that the Lord lifted from my loved ones during July, for which I rejoice, are these:

Healthy birth of baby K.

That D’s back has remained strong and healed since hands laid on at the end of May.

That J’s surgery successful and is back home full of praise and with a new song.

For a blessed family holiday together with grandchildren.

For J’s A for his dissertation and that he is settled, fully-funded PHD ahead and finally in a very good place.

That J got a place on the course he wanted.

That I managed to speak to an authority in the park and safety was ensured and a duckling rescued!

That L secured herself a job she wanted.

That I has had a very good month and is feeling strong.

That Z and L both got 1st-class degrees.

That some wanderers returned and newcomers to AA.

That eased restrictions saw 50 back in church at end of July, with opening plans moving forward.

That our pre-school’s Ofsted visit was favourable and the venue got the necessary ‘all clear’.

Lord, for all those specific answers to spoken prayers I praise and thank You. I thank and praise You also for all the answers to unspoken prayers of the heart and for your interventions that I haven’t noticed or have taken for granted. Thank You for Your constant presence and Your faithfulness.

Another verse has challenged me during July – it grabbed my attention as it mentions the importance of “speaking out” and I have been on that theme for a few months now. These are the words of Jesus Himself, and so I say an enthusiastic and desperately excited Amen to the words, but there is part of my heart that doubts my own faith. This verse is:

“Everything you pray for with the fullness of faith you will receive… if you do not doubt God’s power and speak out of faith’s fullness.” (Matthew 21:21)

Sometimes doubt does hold me back from speaking out a faith-filled prayer even, but when I over-ride the doubts and speak out a prayer, faith floods my shaky heart and I receive God’s peace.

I’m reminded of the friends who carried the ‘paralysed man’ to Jesus… I often imagine them questioning their actions – such audacious perseverance, taking the roof off, pushing their way in, what a cheek! What if Jesus is too busy, not interested or won’t do it? But they stood in the gap for their friend, they persevered and they pushed through until Jesus healed their friend.

So keep believing for your family, neighbours and friends; keep standing in the gap for them, bringing them to Jesus with the faith He gave to you. Keep believing that after night, the morning will come; after the drought, the rains will come and there will be a harvest. Be ready to gather the harvest and to rejoice with the harvesters.

rejoicing in the harvest.

Putting It On — Let’s Practice!

Please listen to Feeding on Jesus’ powerful audio message, taking us step by step through receiving and putting on the mighty armour and protection of God.

Feeding On Jesus

It’s audio devo day!

I was under the impression that we were done with The Armor of Light series last Friday… but I was wrong! Holy Spirit began to stir my heart with one more episode on this topic after I released that last one. Today, our audio devo is a special edition for the exclusive purpose of practicing together – practicing the art of putting on the full armor of God.

Do you remember the intro to this series? We started out meditating on this verse that prefaces our Ephesians 6 instructions about suiting up with God’s armor: “…Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might” (v. 10, NKJV). Putting on the armor is about putting on His strength. God does not command us to be strong in our own power, but rather to be strong in His. As we put on each piece, we…

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Maupassant’s Short Stories – YouTube

I feel the need to offer a short story of my own – as a keen student of language and literature, I grew to love particular authors that I studied for O Level and A Level French and German. St Exupéry, Molière and Guy de Maupassant were amongst my favourite of the French authors and I particularly enjoyed Maupassant’s ‘quinze contes’ (Fifteen Tales). About 10 years ago I discovered an English translation of 30 selected ‘tales’, smiling at me in a quaint old bookshop in Eton. Of course I bought it and began to read the stories to a friend during his time of convalescence. We both enjoyed the experience, so now they are produced for you to enjoy too.

I will begin with these three that I recorded over a year ago and, if you enjoy them, I will record some more afresh. Maupassant’s short stories are to be told aloud; they are risqué, witty, fresh, cheeky and full of humanity.

This was an unrehearsed recording and is a bit of fun, so the accent fluctuates widely and embarrassingly at times, but I hope you enjoy the story and the paintings from a similar era.
Grave importunity or willing deception?
desperate misadventure!

(Sorry about the images that rendered out of sync.)

Do tell me which ones you enjoy.