FMF writing Challenge. Prompt word – Danger
D is for Anger
Arriving home from a wonderfully blessed and inspiring ACW conference, I saw the Five-Minute-Friday writing prompt word – Danger.
The word felt uninviting, until ‘D is for anger’ fell into my brain.
I will explore that.
20:52 – Go!
“There is absolutely no point in reacting. It never works! I always end up losing. It’s not fair!
“He can get angry, he can do what he likes, but if I get mad or get him back, I end up hurt and in tears.
“It’s not fair. He’s big and I’m little…
“I’m never going to get angry again! He will never see me mad. It will never happen again. I will not react!..
“How do I not react? I will build a wall. I shall not join in. I won’t want anything; won’t play the game; won’t feel anything and then it won’t bother me!”
I did not realise then, or for most of my life since, how dangerous that strategy was. It was a completely understandable form of self-protection, but it became a stronghold that grew with me and bound me to fear and anger in a painfully impotent way.
It was to intensify its consequences and to thwart me over and over until finally I learned and brought my own self-centred promises and judgments to the cross of Jesus.
I repent for my sinful vows and judgments, which are now broken at the cross and the burden for my sin is all taken by Jesus.
He is my refuge and protection.
In His incredible love, He takes my sin and He sets me free.
Anger is not the sin. My judgments and my ‘never-again’ promises were the sin. I set myself up to rely on myself, not God. I separated myself from Him. That was the danger.
Now I am free to learn to feel anger, along with other emotions, and to bring my feelings and responses to Jesus. This is not comfortable, not easy; and I’m a bit clumsy in recognising and wearing these emotions and learning to express them appropriately. I can learn to identify the emotions, understand the cause and learn how to pray, be kind and bless.
But I do not need to judge the one who acts or speaks against me.
I am not the judge. I am free.
How wonderful it is to learn and to grow closer to the one who loves us beyond what we can ever fathom.