This week’s FMF writing prompt is: TRUST
Words that occur to me in response to that loaded, elephant in the room five-letter word:
Trust = falling, insanity, sacrifice, disappointment, let-me-down…
Trust is almost a dirty word and terrifying, to me, yet simultaneously one of the sweetest and most precious of dreams.
It is currently being held right up there in my face, questioning, showing me how little of it I have, testing me now it is actually needed.
Now I need to walk the talk!
I see that it is the only thing left, if I am to obey the voice of God.
But all of me rebels, kicks and screams and asks for an easier way, a way I can control myself, a path I can see the outcome of and one which looks safe and ordinary…
(Of course my own way, the broad road, is never at all better, or smooth, or safer, or anything else I deceive myself with in my denial and resistance.)
How does one surrender, submit, let-go and let God?
How does one learn to trust? Except by doing it?
My only response, to self, is that if I am to trust that God loves me, as He says; to trust that God has forgiven me my sins, that He hears my prayers, that Jesus has purchased for me eternal life with Him, then I am going to have to prove to myself that I will trust and obey Him with this seemingly crazy, but relatively trivial, step right now.