Please forgive me for a not-so-edifying ramble.
When I first read Kate’s post for this week’s prompt, ‘Guess’, I fully identified with her reflection on asking the Lord for direction and not being able to see His answers. Her comparison with that discerning to feel a bit like guess-work. I thought that her blog was enough said on the matter, because personally I was right in that ‘no-man’s land’ of not seeing the direction at all, for certain issues.
And I am still there, still feeling like I am having to guess what God’s will for me is.
People say that I must listen for His still, small voice;
that I will find answers in the Scriptures;
that God’s perfect peace will be my guide;
that if I fast and pray…
And I have probably said the same thing!
But, if I am stuck now, do I conclude that I am doing it wrong? That my heart is wrong? That this sheep does not know her Shepherd’s voice? That sin has blocked me from hearing His voice?
Does God want me to ‘follow the mind of my heart’? Or to take advice from Christian people? Does He want me to be patient and spend more time seeking the answer?
I know that he who seeks finds.
Or has He told me clearly already and I don’t like the answer?
Does God’s answer take me where I have no intention of going, nor desire to go?
I do not trust my own heart, it is deceitful above all things.
And I have asked advice from spirit-filled friends and their opinions and advice has been varied and contradictory, though I now have even more options in what feels like a multiple choice exam! And I have never been good at multiple-choice. I have painful memories of French and German listening comprehension exams, where in each choice of four options I consistently guessed wrong. The odds of that were even remarkable!
Maybe I am impatient to know the answers, when it is not time for me to know.
Maybe I am trying so hard to listen, that I have become blind and deaf.
Does the Lord really want me to guess His will?
Does He trust me to guess?
Does He know that I already know His Will and know that in time I will say ‘yes’ to Him and do that ridiculous sounding thing!
I am sharing this only because some of you may relate to these feelings. It does not feel like an encouraging or edifying post, but it is an expression of the mess some of us might sometimes grapple with. This someone does, anyway.
I imagine in a few months, or days, or years (God only knows), I will look back on this and see God’s path and wisdom as clear as the moon on a cloudless night, as so often happens.
There is always such profound insight in hindsight.
Meanwhile we grapple.
Oh me of little faith!
dawnfanshawe 
Sorry…but I think the answer is wait on God’s timing.
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Don’t be sorry. Thank you for bearing with my ramble. x
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Thank you for sharing your ramble as you call it. I can relate. Whenever I find myself in such situations the only thing that helps is prayer. I find that I will be looking for an indication everywhere for an answer from the Lord and in doing so get more confused at times. Prayer, consistent and repeated helps me keep my focus on Him so if he is telling me something I will not miss it and it also prevents me from scrambling for a response.
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Thank you, Manu. I wait on Him and am learning to be patient. 😀
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Much appreciation for sharing in such a straight forward and honest manner what had to be a difficult topic for you. Please, remember Habakkuk and Nathaniel when considering your waiting for God’s answer to your petition. He loves you more than you know. He will lead you where you need to go and protect you all the while. If you want to talk about it, I am just a message away on Messenger. Stay strong in the Lord and the power of His might. You are a daughter of the most high King, and I am adjusting your crown. Sending love and prayers.
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Bless you Susan. What a heart-warming response. I am still waiting and I take note of your kind offer. x
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Peace of the Lord, Dawn.
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Dawn, I think you’re wrong about this post not being encouraging. It is always encouraging to know that we are not alone in our we’re complicated ramblings, as you call them. I often feel the same and I’m sure many of us do. I also think you’re correct about our recollections of God answering and directing, as we look back on these situations. I think it’s OK to take baby steps toward what we believe is God’s will and trust him to change our direction if it isn’t. I must trust that He’s always listening, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
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Thank you Suzette. I appreciate that. x
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Thank you for sharing this, Dawn! I definitely relate to it and I think a lot of others will too. I remember one particular occasion when I had to make a decision and I was desperate to know God’s will but no matter how much I prayed it seemed he wasn’t telling me. The thing that helped me was reading an article which said that 95% of God’s will for us is what he has already told us and it is to do with our character – he wants us to be more loving and faithful etc – and if we’re seeking him, he will guide us even if it doesn’t always feel like it. That gave me the confidence to make a decision, even though I still wasn’t sure, trusting that if I made the wrong decision God would guide me back on track.
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Absolutely! I am aware that it is my false perception of God that thinks He will make it too difficult for me to ever get right! ❤
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